I have also served as Editor and Publisher of my Rotary Club's weekly bulletin for four years, winning awards in the process. Several editorials that I wrote a few years ago have been reprinted in several languages and in the weekly bulletins of several hundred Rotary Clubs, as well as ROTI. Here is another of the more popular ones, my closing editorial.

Closing Words

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression and bombast he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.”

Since this is my last issue, I need to thank my friends who became contributors, and made this publication the award-winning one it was. Those contributors include Shawn Bhagat, Dick Calvert, Pete Cross, Barbara Cucino, Gary Embrey, Phil Farley, Fred Ferguson, Phillip Hettich, David Marsee, Sugie Maxfield, Mike McQuade, Tom McWhirter, Hans Mecker, John Osborn and Mark Sutherland. And, how can I forget the entire Dental Continuing Education class?

Now, I want everyone within the sound of my pen to gather up all the fudge brownies, chocolate ice cream and hot fudge, and throw it in the river. Shall We Gather at the River?

More Last Words

“I shall hear in heaven.” - Ludwig Van Beethoven, 1827. By the time of his death, Beethoven was completely deaf.

“Oh Lord, forgive the errata!” - Andrew Bradford, the publisher of Philadelphia’s first newspaper, 1742.

“I’m looking for a loophole.” - W.C. Fields, who had been flipping through the Bible on his deathbed, 1946.

“You might make that a double.” - Neville Heath, the murderer who requested a glass of whiskey as his last wish before being hanged, 1946.

“Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.” - Karl Marx, after his housekeeper had asked whether he had a final message for the world, 1883.

“Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.” - Pancho Villa

“O.K. I won’t.” -Elvis Presley responding to his girlfriend’s request that he not fall asleep in the bathroom

“It’s very beautiful over there.” - Thomas A. Edison

“Why not? Why not?” - Timothy Leary

“I’m tired of fighting. I guess this is going to get me.” - Harry Houdini

“Remember me to my friends, tell them I’m a hell of a mess.” - H.L. Mencken, essayist

“Monsieur, I beg your pardon.” - Marie Antoinette, to her executioner, after stepping on his foot accidentally

“Dying is a very dull affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.” - Author Somerset Maugham

“But, but, Mister Colonel-” - Benito Mussolini, executed 1945.

“I’m not afraid to die, Honey...I know the Lord has his arms wrapped around this big fat sparrow.” - Blues singer Ethel Waters

“I am about to, or, I am going to die. Either expression is used.” - Dominique Bouhours, grammarian

“Never felt better.” - Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.