Personal Interest

Virtual Dialogue for Peace

by Daniel Sturgeon for Rotary World Peace Fellow Association
Thursday, May 5, 2005. 10:09PM
1,073 Views 7 Comments

We often hear the words "mutual understanding," but do we really know what we mean when we say those words? According to dictionary.com, it is to: "n : sympathy of each person for the other." But what then is sympathy? It implies a relationship, an affinity, and in general a relationship with feelings towards another.

How does one achieve this "mutual understanding" then? Rotary strongly supports this principle through thousands of exchanges annually, both long-term and short-term in nature. Through these exchanges relationships are built, at least for a time. However, at the end of these exchanges everyone must go home, whether it is a GSE Team, a High School Exchange, or a year of study abroad. Relationships are built, but often fall by the wayside when we return to our homes. This is a real concern for Rotary and all organizations that sponsor exchanges.

How can Rotary Scholars and Fellows work then to preserve the relationships that are built over such a short period of time? What are some solutions?

Often the key is proper communication of some kind. We are blessed today with the internet, which allows quick, convenient, and cheap communications between individuals nearly anywhere on earth. This is of course granting that those involved have access to the internet in the first place. That aside, we have the tool and have had this tool for over a decade now. I recall sending my first emails in 1994 from my University account to a former classmate who was admitted to the Air Force Academy. This was when I was still in High School!

You can lead a horse to water, but how then do you make it drink? How can I get my mother to log on and write? Again, literacy aside, we must find ways to encourage those with these tools to use them, and those designing them must find ways to make it easier to use. Certainly, Digitarians are one example of a group seeking to make this happen. Free email has also worked wonders. Blogs too have been great for allowing my to communicate as a Peace Fellow with my sponsor Rotarians in Kentucky.

Still though, it is often difficult typing into a black hole. Nuance of voice and intonation are lost in writing (but were also hampered by old fashioned letters). These difficulties aside, how can one sift through the heaps of data, emails, etc. and build valid relationships?

I am completely comfortable working in the digital world, making friends online, and bringing that world into my real world and friends. Through the Rotary World Peace Fellow Association, I have built relationships with fellows at the six other centers. These are people whom I have never met in person before.

It can be done, but key to building relationships is having a shared interest, a venue, and a desire to continue the relationship. It is not possible to connect with everyone in the world, but it is possible to find the right people, at the right place, with the right energy to push forward with a working relationship that complements those of real life. It is through these endeavors that we can better achieve mutual understanding, or affinity, for one another through digital means.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006. 07:21PM by Binod Khaitan
Friends SYMPATHY - mutual understanding needs EMPATHY & GOODWILL. Yes, Rotary does provide THE many programs enumarated by Daniel. I would like to add the HUMANITARIAN - Grant Projects of TRF which are also a great means of MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING towards building a harmonious world in HAPPINESS & PEACE.
Saturday, May 7, 2005. 05:12AM by Daniel Sturgeon
Simone, the internet will never replace the value of student exchange. They definately must compliment one another.
Saturday, May 7, 2005. 04:37AM by Simone Collins
Good points Daniel! I have found the same thing; as a science student at University I was also among the earliest adopters of email and the internet (we used email in high school in 1989, and had my first external account at University in 1994).. but finding others to interact with is hard! Of my family and friends, the last two or three years has seen a huge increase in adoption of email use, but there are still plenty of people I know who hardly use it, or don't feel they know enough to use it well. The email overload - spam, multiple high volume mailing lists, unnecessary cc's or bulk emails - does make it a lot less pleasant to use email than say 5 years ago, but the higher number of people that you can connect with does balance that somewhat. With Rotaractors being aged 18-30, and thus more likely to be confident using a computer, we use the internet extensively to cooperate (if anyone is coming to Interota in September, I will be running a workshop about this! :)) But it is so true, that the written word, minus the inflection and the body language, can make the interaction more open to misinterpretation, and less "fun". The ideal is to be able to meet in person now and then, and keep up the momentum via electronic communication. So perhaps we need cheaper air travel?? :)
Friday, May 6, 2005. 11:14AM by Geof Lambert
I wish when I was a Rotary Youth Exchange student in 1979, and a cultural scholar back in 1981 we had email and websites, so I could easily keep in touch with my fellow classmates. You are right about being able to establish very meaningful and productive relationships with people you have never, and perhaps never will meet in person. One of the nice things about using the message system is that you reach your audience on "their time", unlike other modes, such as a phone call, where your communication can disrupt their normal busy schedule unless it is scheduled way in advance. Rick's suggestion of a mix of voice and email is a good one for building even further understanding and connection.
Friday, May 6, 2005. 02:54AM by Florence Hui
Thoughtfulness, trust, patience...and all in the name of love will fill the gap.
Friday, May 6, 2005. 02:02AM by Florence Hui
Your scribe reminds me of Milan Kundera's "Memory" (hope I've got the right name). It's about two lovers meeting each other again after 20 years. The man even forgot the woman's name as he considered her one of his dates only (but they had been seeing each other for months when they were young) whereas the woman remembered everything. Kundera questioned why people treasured their memories when what they kept in mind were different. There isn't mutual memory. Good qustion about mutual understanding. Guess thoughtfulness can fill the gap.
Thursday, May 5, 2005. 10:41PM by Rick Thornton
I agree with what you say. I have used the internet for some time and find forums and this type of resource very useful. I augment electronic contact with judicious use of SKYPE to obtain the "personal" contact if the other party agrees. I have been hesitant in exploring digital contact for obvious reasons but find that in a "Rotary" environment the ability to connect is easier and there is a greater degree of common interest and trust. The key is respect and not "overdoing it".